The husband and wife duo of Alaina and Patrick, aka Tennis, prepare to release a gorgeous 10 track streak of retrofurism aptly named Yours Conditionally. The silky-smooth hooks of In The Morning I'll Be Better hint towards special things from the ambitious couple, who pride themselves on classic songwriting and velvety melody.
4/10 Clinton Staff review, 08 March 2017
What time does Sean Connery get his exercise?
I wrote that joke as a way of counting to ten so that I didn’t launch into a really noxious rant about how much I hate couples. - especially couples in bands. Ok, especially Tennis.
They are a prime example of that kind of smug couple who play together, tour together and fail together of telling each other how bad their music actually is. If I was hoping for a fresh start with Tennis all is pretty much lost within one minute of opener ‘In the Morning I’ll Be Better’ a kind of fake soul/motown pastiche that showcase Alaina Moore's screechy, ear-hurtingly piercing voice. Then ‘My Emotions Are Blinding’ makes me think I’ve tuned into the sort of ‘70s radio station that thinks that Starland Vocal Band's ‘Afternoon Delight’ is the height of musical sophistication.
If me and Tennis have one thing in common it’s a love of yachts but this brand of yacht rock is more Captain & Tennille than Michael McDonald. Its so without soul that it forms a kind of Ikea version of 70's smooth so much so that I'm seriously toying with the thought that the sooner these lot have a massive argument at sea and one throws the other overboard the better.
If you like fluffy indie that makes Saint Etienne sound like Throbbing Gristle then this is for you but just remember, you are funding their lavish lifestyle and further anaemic records like this.
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- Yours Conditionally by Tennis
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