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Forward-driving garage-punk fun, a bit shonky round the edges but deal with it yeah? The Cream Split Up is a mini-album by The Sexual Objects, containing tracks like ‘Robert Quine’ and ‘Ron Asheton’ (the latter sort-of copies his ‘1969’ riff, but it isn’t like they are trying to hide the influence is it?). Plain white sleeve, on Eyelids In The Rain.

10" £10.99 EITR/CB 002

5-track 10" EP on Eyelids in the Rain / Creeping Bent. Edition of 300 copies.

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The Cream Split Up by The Sexual Objects
1 review. Write a review for us »
7/10 Robin Staff review, 13 March 2015

So many bad band names, so little time to complain about them all. On ‘Cream Split Up’, The Sexual Objects romp through five not actually indecent tracks of pretty standard, showy rock ‘n’ roll, for the sake of proving it exists, and then write it off as garage rock. I suppose that’s fair enough: the drums are unhinged and the vibe is pining after punk rock, but the riffs sound like they’re being sent into deep space, one note away from a Joe Satriani lawsuit. Remember the Joe Satriani lawsuit? I miss that.

Going full-on instrumental for the sake of rock purity, the record betrays its influences hard (there’s a song called Ron Asheton, and it sounds like “1969”, so yeah), rolling down the frets like a kid excited to be three years into guitar lessons. The performances are impressive, but they mainly just sound pleasant -- nice, repeating verse-choruses structures that allow riffs to get developed and refashioned in small increments. The melodies of “Fenella Fudge” are placating and sweet, allowing what sounds like vocals to seep in like wistful sighs.

Mini-album, mini-opinions: it’s all quite nice, but the better moments are the sunnier ones -- “Ron Asheton” is fast and loose and totally loses itself in a squalor of guitar clamouring, but when the pace is steady, the strums are clean and Real Estate sound like a chief influence, I can’t help but allow it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to start a band called Brizzly Gear. The world is waiting.


Ron Asheton by the Sexual Objects. Video by Douglas Hart. - YouTube


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