Picture Disc LP.
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- Plan For The Kidnap of Princess Anne by English Heretic
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Princess Anne recently suggested that people eat horse, which is a quite odd thing to say when you don’t look that dissimilar from one. Perhaps a potential food source was the reasoning behind the 1974 attempted kidnap of her by Ian Ball, but it would surely be easier to kidnap a horse than a royal?
Anyway, what we have here, believe it or not, is a reconstruction of those events pieced together with found recordings. It presents the kidnap from different angles: Ball's confession, Reggie Bosanquet's slurred ITN news report (surely the best name for a band ever??), and Princess Anne and Captain Mark Phillips' recital on The Parkinson Show. All on a piece of vinyl that features a huge picture of the Princess and the Captain (presumably used without permission).
A strange disc: if you started to ask the question "why does it exist?" then you could spend the rest of your life trying to answer it. But undoubtedly interesting and worth a listen.
8/10 Devilwidget Customer review, 6th December 2014
It's hard to separate the actual listening experience of this album from its outlandish concept and fittingly hideous artwork. Adorned with a photo of Princess Anne and bearing no small similarity to the sort of royal memorabilia your gran might have, the record juxtaposes long transcripts by three parties involved in a real-life royal kidnap attempt, with a perpetually looping refrain wrought from the sort of ceremonious, liturgical nonsense stolen from the soundtrack to a monarchs wedding. Concept aside, its baffling how little happens - the transcripts play over their repetitive backing, there is occasionally subtle manipulation of the odd word, but other that its an oddly straight affair throughout its not inconsiderable running length. The final few minutes are the only part that might be considered music proper - a radiophonic wash of degrading repetitions - with the rest coming across like a very accurate, if very odd, interview disc. Both kidnapper and kidnappee are fascinating voices in their own right however, and the peculiarities of the story will have you reaching for wikipedia to check its veracity. Ultimately, I'm not sure when someone would ever feel inclined to stick this record on - its almost admirable how inappropriate it is for almost all settings, although it would be a fantastic way to antagonise guests at a party. I'm not sure how much it will end up getting listened to, but one things for sure - it will always be one of the strangest records in my collection, and while it might only garner a 6 for its actual content, its concept is worth a rousing 10 in and of itself.
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