1/10 Clinton Staff review, 25 January 2013
I’ve had better nights’ sleep. Not a wink ‘til about 2am then a dream about being stabbed to death. Nice, eh? But even with a full night’s glorious shuteye, I would still hate this record with every fibre of my being. From the opening track it’s clear that its horrid vapid pop. I don’t know what it’s aiming at but it hits the spot marked Savage Garden full on in the face.
The second track is no better, using synth stabs to highlight an utterly lightweight non event. They have neither songs, nor charm, nor melody, nor invention, the vocals are an autotuned, falsetto mess, and the production is somewhere between Stock Aitken & Waterman and ‘Provision’-era Scritti Politti. I’m sticking with it in the hope that something might change, that the opening salvos were just over exuberance but I’m in the middle of something that sounds like East 17 committing suicide via the medium of bland ballad so I’m off to ingest dangerous quantities of liquefied Tunnocks teacakes. Quite a pleasant way to die I’d imagine.
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