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What the fuck? Here in my hand I have a novelty split Christmas single from Helen “we thought you’d split up” Love, Richardo “who?”* Autobahn singing about the Salvation “dodgy religious cult” Army. It’s objectively one of the worst things I’ve ever heard in this office, a twee mid-paced europop plodder with a chorus that repeats at least three ...

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And The Salvation Army Band Plays by Helen Love And Ricardo Autobahn
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1/10 Mike Staff review, 11 December 2012

What the fuck? Here in my hand I have a novelty split Christmas single from Helen “we thought you’d split up” Love, Richardo “who?”* Autobahn singing about the Salvation “dodgy religious cult” Army. It’s objectively one of the worst things I’ve ever heard in this office, a twee mid-paced europop plodder with a chorus that repeats at least three too many times. I suppose it might make you feel nostalgic if you grew up at that time in the ‘90s when crappy novelty singles were de rigeur but this is awful. And if that’s not enough there’s a “disco mix” on the other side, an idea so repellent to me that I’ll leave you to imagine it for yourselves.

*I know who he is really, but only because of the press release. He’s one of the two jerks responsible for that hamster dance song a few years ago. Great. Just great.


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