Babylon Rules, by Clockcleaner (CD on Load)

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What the label says:

LOUD AND UGLY BRAWL ROCK HAILING FROM THE CITY OF BROTHERLY LOVE. CLOCKCLEANER IS A THREE PIECE MIXINGA HATEFUL STEW OF WIRY HARD ROCK SUITABLE FOR BEATING FRIENDS AND FAMILY. THIS IS THE BAND’S SECONDFULL LENGTH (NEVERMIND IS THEIR FIRST) AND THE BAND HAS GROWN SUITABLE LAND LEGS THAT CRAWL FROM THEPACK OF BURLY SCUM ROCK REVIVALISTS WITH A CONFIDENT RECORD THAT WILL CLIMB TO THE TOP OF YOUR STEREOWITH ITS ADDICTIVE PUMMEL ... ALL THE WHILE PULLING YOUR COD PIECE/QUIM PATCH AROUND YOUR ANKLES.THERE IS A STRANGE CULTURE OF BANDS EXISTING NOW WORSHIPPING THE HARD ROCK SOUNDS OF HALO OF FLIES,FANG AND KILDOZER: REFERENCE OTHER PENNSYLVANIA MISCREANTS LIKE SUB POP’S PISSED JEANS.CLOCKCLEANER STAND DEFIANTLY AND CALL THEIR NEW MUSIC: SKULL MUSIC. OTHER BANDS IN THE SKULLMUSIC FAMILY INCLUDE CLEVELAND’S HOMOSTUPIDS. STAY TUNED FOR FURTHER SKULL MUSIC TRANSMISSIONSON LOAD.THE GROUNDSWELL BEHIND THIS RELEASE IS MONUMENTAL, WITH MASTURBATORY HYSTERIA LEVELS REACHING RECORDLEVELS. THE COMBINATION OF THE DISEASED TALES OF URBAN PARANOIA WITH KICK ASS SONGS WILL DELIVER ATOTAL ENTERTAINMENT EXPERIENCE. DIG IN! BEST RECORD OF THE YEAR, EVER.THIS RECORD WILL CONFUSE LOAD RECORDS CONSUMERS HOWEVER AS ITS NOT A NOISE RECORD, IT IS A RECORD INTHE HARD ROCK MOLD. PLEASE GO BACK TO YOUR BLOGGING. GOOD DAY.FOR FANS OF PISSED JEANS, DRUNKS WITH GUNS, BUTTHOLE SURFERS, SCRATCH ACID, YOU KNOW THE SCORE. THIS IS KILLER!

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Babylon Rules by Clockcleaner (LP, £9.79)