The Rebel - Tarscoffsky's The Snackrifice

TO QUOTE THE GREATEST SELF-PUBLICIST OF THE MODERN ROCK ERA,“YOU WOULDN’T EVEN KNOW THE SUN WAS UP UNLESS THERE WAS APRESS RELEASE ON IT.“ WELL, THE SENTENCE ALSO WORKS WITH ‘THE SUNWAS UP’ REPLACED BY ‘A NEW RECORD HAS BEEN MADE BY THEREBEL.’ YOU REALLY WOULDN’T KNOW. WHY? I’LL TELL YOU WHY,JIMMY SOMERVILLE: BECAUSE PAUL SIMON, PAUL MCCARTNEY ANDITUNES HAVE FORMED THE HOLY LEAGUE OF MUSICAL HERITAGE PROTECTIONAND THEY ARE DELIBERATELY SUPPRESSING THE REBEL SO THAT HEWILL CONTINUE IN POVERTY AND DESPERATION TO MAKE THE QUALITY OFMUSIC NECESSARY TO KEEP COMPOSITION ALIVE INTO THE NEXT CENTURYAND BEYOND. DO YOU KNOW FOR INSTANCE WHY THE REBEL’S MAY2001 APPEARANCE ON TOP OF THE POPS WAS CANCELED? YOU THOUGHTIT WAS BECAUSE HEATHER MCCARTNEY’S LEG FELL OFF IN THE BBCCANTEEN, BUT THAT WAS JUST A COVER-UP. THEY LOCKED HIS GARAGEDOOR SO THAT HE COULDN’T ESCAPE AND HAD TO RECORD THE MASTERPIECESYOU ABOUT TO LISTEN TO ON THIS 12-INCH 45 RPM MLP. MOST BLATANTLY AWESOME DOCUMENT EVER FRO MTHE COUNTRY TEASERS' LEADER. FULL COLOUR "DOUBLE COVER" = YOU PICK WHICH IS THE A-SIDE!

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