Sting In The Tale/ Swimming Upstream, by The Svengalis (CD single on Villains & Rogues)

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Mart was a funny lad with creamy eyes that had a passion for books about teleporation and guitar....he decided to make band when he saw this sign on a lampost saying 'make a band or die'....one-day, whilst swimming in park road pool...he came across a man in the shower with a beautiful tarantula on his head, he was called jim....at the very moment martin knew that he was the drummer of his dreams because he saw a sign on a lampost saying 'jim is the drummer of your dreams'....he was then playing hopscotch in trash litening to erol alkan....and a small child only about 4 years old with slimy legs called Saul came and joined in....they got talking and its just so happened that saul liked sea-bas martins 6th favourite food....Saul joined the band shortly afterwards.....they whole band so far were playing tennis in cherry tree woods....jim needed a doubles partner and jonah came sliding past.....jim asked if he wanted to play...jonah said he'd love to but he didnt have a tennis raquet but he could use a stick....jim told him to fuk off and not take the piss.....Saul met him later on a bus and they got chatting because they both like penguins and ladels and the filthy dukes remix of the maccabees and scotch eggs and robby stern and tattoos on hedgehogs and the tops of smarties and gorge walking and championship manager and pelican crossings and kneecaps and old naked men and freshly made boats and jack penates shoes and blocks in general.....i soon found out that he played keyboard when he told me that he played the keyboard.....i asked consequently asked him to join our band...jim was a bit reluctant..i said that maybe he was being abit hasty and should toalk to jonah....jim soon found that they only disagreed on 3 things.....buttons, step ladders and whether loyd grossmans food was worth its face value.....so jonah joined and the svengalis were formed So welcome and pop yo' collar!

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